May 25, 2006 10:54 AM
Farewell School Year
There is a lovely calendar hanging on my refrigerator door. Each month, I am treated to a photo of a different flower, and occasionally I will scribble something like "Dad's Birthday" in one of the squares. But that calendar is really more for decoration. Because for the past 11 years or so, my life has been ruled by a different calendar--the county school system calendar. And according to the school system, summer begins tomorrow evening.
My kids are beside themselves with excitement. My oldest is already claiming herself a junior in high school, although she won't be, I tell her, until her final exams are completed AND graded AND those grades are mailed out to moi. My youngest looked a little crushed, because after being low-man-on-the-totem pole for nine months, he was thinking about already calling himself a seventh-grader. But my logic was able to bring him down a notch. Poor kid.
So another school year is almost over. I know I, as do many parents, say this every year, but where did the time go? It feels like just yesterday I saw my little boy hop on the bus and ride off to his first day of middle school. Now, middle school is 1/3 over. My daughter started the year just happy to not be a freshman, but now, her thoughts are all about driving around in her car, getting a job, and what colleges we should start visiting next year. The end of the school year is a sweet time for kids. But for us parents, I'd say it's bittersweet at best. We want our kids to grown up, yet we don't. Because that's just one step further away from us they take. Every year.
I joke about turning my daughter's room into a crafts room if/when she leaves for college, and I tell my son his room will make a great closet one day. Of course, I don't mean that stuff. Well, usually I don't mean it. The thought of being an empty-nester possibly within six years seems kind of cool sometimes. Then at other times, it's an awful feeling, because that means they won't be here anymore. When I had my first child at 25, it never occurred to me that I'd feel anything but scared (pregnancy, birth) and tired (infancy). I was just overwhelmed with those tiny little beings. I never considered the extreme mix of emotions this whole parenting deal would bring me 16 years later.
So tomorrow, when I'm hearing the kids cheer and plan their summer and stay up late just because they want to, I will be happy for them. And just a teeny tiny bit sad for me. Because I'm selfish, and I want my babies to stay babies just a little longer.
Comments
I'm right there with you, LC. I get excited for them, but it is going entirely too fast!! Lucky for me (HA! Fate thou art cruel, indeed), I get 12 more years before I'm an empty-nester!!
Posted by: Tammy at May 25, 2006 01:12 PM
