October 17, 2006 08:27 AM
Returning to Life
Well the house of mono is beginning to get a break. My daughter went back to school this week, and other than her fatigue, she feels almost normal. Of course, she has tons of work to make up at school, since she missed nearly two weeks. Two weeks of work, seeing friends, and of course, two weeks of good ol' high school drama.
This has been a strange year for my dear daughter. Last night we joked that her life seems to be trapped in a vortex of chaos and insanity. We're not exaggerating much. This year, she ended a very long-term (1 year) dating relationship, became friends with people she once hated, and became enemies with several she once loved. Her first love (puppy love, at age 14) reappeared unexpectedly after nearly two years, and we learned how much we all missed him. She learned that timing is everything, when we left for vacation and a friend covered her usual shift at her job, and he was robbed at gunpoint. It would have been her if we hadn't been gone. She has been threatened by a troubled young girl, she has changed her lifelong plans to pursue a career in medicine and decided to become a teacher instead. It seems that the changes just never stop coming.
But more recently, when she became ill, I told her that she would learn some things about the people in her life that might be good or bad, but that illness and absence did have a way of teaching us important lessons. And I was correct. It seems that for some people, out of sight equals out of mind. (Like the boyfriend who went AWOL as soon as she became ill.) And for others, seeing their friend suffer brings about their finest, strongest moments. When my daughter's best friend ignored the risk of contracting the disease and showed up at our door with a gift bag full of my daughter's favorite candy and two-dozen roses, I knew my kid had done something very right this year--choose a friend who loves her fiercely. She also learned that her little brother, who may annoy her at times (make that often) would do almost anything to see her happy. He and I went shopping when she was ill, and he kept finding things he thought his sister would like, need, or just make her happy, and badgered me until I bought almost all of them. Despite the fact that he'd been saving his allowance for a while and had a walletful of cash to spend on himself, he was much more interested in looking for things for her. Quite a proud moment for this mama.
So as we move on into a normal, healthy life, I told my daughter to be glad for the lessons mono taught her. That she has true friends after all. That she has a brother who adores her. That you don't miss being healthy until you lose it, so you shouldn't take it for granted. And that those icky, trying, difficult moments in life, in time, will pass.
Comments
Wow. I want you for my mama.
No, seriously, your kids are lucky to have someone who can find such a life-affirming philosophy in a nasty bout of illness. I'm so glad I read this... and will try to whine a little less in future when called upon to play nurse to my own clan... Cheers and hugs to you!
Posted by: Jen at October 18, 2006 04:36 PM
Wow. Those are lessons that will enrich her life! Your description of her best friend and her brother trying to make her feel better are so touching.
Posted by: Pieces at October 18, 2006 10:48 PM
I read this entry and being a Mom (and a step Mom of teens) it touches me so much. My daughter is only ten, but she had a grand mal seizure in 2nd grade, and it was a huge life lesson for both of us how people react to someone that is sick. Her best friend (I mean they were only 8 but this is her best friend from Grade K) was encouraged my her Mother of all people to make new friends cause my daughter missed the equivalent of 2 days of school. One teacher was determined to flunk her cause until she came out of the "fog" she was in after a few months labeled her a "changed child". Only God and our true friends got us through that time. Like you said you say people's true hearts. In the end, it all turned out for the good, some learning disablities my daughter had were straightened out my the seizure medicine and allowed her to focus better in school. I believe God trully uses EVERYTHING fo the good. And I think that is true in your daughters case as well.
Posted by: CAROLYN at October 22, 2006 07:34 AM
