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April 24, 2007

Bad Boys, Bad Boys...Watcha Gonna Do?

At 17, a certain teenage girl I know is learning a difficult lesson, and it is this: bad boys often have a certain appeal, and even the smartest girls may not be able to resist that appeal. Their rugged, what-will-he-do-next sort-of charm can be tough to dismiss, particularly when you are the object of his affection. But underneath it all, these guys are, well, still "bad". And I have yet to meet a woman who ended up living happily ever after with a bad boy.

So this girl I know, she's been in and out of love with a bad boy for more than two years now. They've dated a few times, typically for a month or two, and the end is usually quite emotional and disastrous. But in between the dating, she and the bad boy are friends--great friends, in fact, and I think this is why she often ends up dating him again. She, being a sweet young thing who sees a bit of good in everyone, admires his intelligence, sense of humor, and how much he cares about her. She even understands why virtually all her friends roll their eyes at the least, and beg her not to at the most, when she begins to develop "feelings" for him, once again. She says it will be different this time. Then, although he doesn't necessarily treat her horribly, his bad-boy behavior, habits, and problems get in the way and create some big conflict that ends in tears, yelling, and the much-expected "I told you so" from her friends.

So the other day, I was listening to the 2,375th story about how he has disappointed her. I just sat shaking my head, telling her all the things she already knows: She's smart. She deserves better. He isn't boyfriend material. And I make sure to tell her she'll learn from all of this--like I did.

My mistake wasn't just a bad boy, he was Mr. Wrong in every sense of the word. Everything about him was wrong--wrong time in our lives for a relationship, for starters, because I was 19 and he was 20, and the world was at our feet. But instead of chasing my dreams, I ended up chasing him around a lot, trying to take care of him. I spent years trying to fix him--his medical problems, his financial problems, his family problems, his school-related problems. And he was, in the classic sense, a bad boy. He drank too much, used drugs, did poorly in school, got speeding tickets, got into a few fights. He wasn't getting arrested for serious crimes, but I always worried that would be next, so I had to constantly keep an eye on him. It was like being the 19-year-old mother of a grown man. It was exhausting, and now and then, I wistfully look back and wonder what I missed during those years, when I was too young and in love to see that his neediness would never, ever be filled.

Three-and-a-half years of my life, gone, wasted, down the drain. Some laughs, some good times, but mostly not-so-good times. I was a smart girl making some really bad choices. Was it the excitement? My youthful inexperience? Sheer stupidity? Perhaps all three, at different times. And now I am surrounded by teenage girls who are doing the same thing, because the one girl I have been talking about isn't the only one who is falling for a bad boy. And when they're crying and they think the world is over because that bad boy has hurt them, yet again, I tell them this: "It's not you, it's him. You can't fix him, you will never fix him. So go on, make yourself happy. And learn from your mistakes. And from mine."

Posted by L.C. at 07:55 PM | | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Filed under: Meaningless Gab | Parenting

April 18, 2007

Fun Fashiony Blogs

Looking for some fun fashion-related blogs? Here are a few I like:

  • The Perfect Closet: Cool fashion finds and some nice travel photos as well. Be sure to check out her Frugal Friday posts.
  • Into the Fray: It's funny and smart, and it's one of my new faves.
  • SheFinds Weblog: Reviews of cool stuff and where to get it all. Be sure to sign up for their mailing list--it's Fab.
  • coolchiq: With a subtitle like Style is Everything, Comfort is Nothing, what's not to love?
  • Now Smell This: This blog with the uber-cool name offers up "perfume reviews and fragrance news".
  • Frugal-Fashionista: I like this blog because it shows pics, the price, and where to get the clothing they feature.

Posted by L.C. at 11:31 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Filed under: Beauty/Fashion | Reviews | Shopping

April 12, 2007

R.I.P. Kurt Vonnegut

Salon.com has published this really nice tribute to legendary author Kurt Vonnegut, who passed away this week. Check it out.

Posted by L.C. at 05:35 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Filed under: Meaningless Gab

April 11, 2007

Silly Quiz of the Day

So true, so true--me in a nutshell:

You Are a Glam Rocker!
You put the "show" in rock show with your larger than life self.
No doubt, you are all about making good music...
But what really gets you going is having an over the top show.
Glitter, costumes, and wild hair are your thing - with some rock thrown in!

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

Posted by L.C. at 03:54 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Filed under: Meaningless Gab

April 05, 2007

Stuff I Want

I've been making my list (checkin' it twice) of some cool new things I want, all available online and all uber-cute. Here they are, in no particular order:

Posted by L.C. at 04:35 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Filed under: Beauty/Fashion | Shopping

April 02, 2007

In the News

Here are a few articles that have caught my eye this week:

  • Cruisers Overboard Again?: I've been on several cruises, and wondering if people can fall, or even jump off a ship is a topic of conversation that comes up at least once per trip. But now it has happened twice in one month? Check out these stories: Cruise Line Probing Overboard Fall and Coast Guard finds man who jumped off ship.

  • The Number of People Affected by Alzheimer's is Growing: Report: 5M Live With Alzheimer's. My mother is one of them, and we pray everyday for advances in healthcare so other families won't have to suffer the pain we have lived with for three years.

  • Are You Kidding Me? A Pre-Abortion Ultrasound Requirement?: Abortion ultrasound-viewing advances in S.C. Regardless of my personal views on abortion, this article (well not the article, but the S.C. government really) made me pretty angry.

  • Colleges Tackle Suicide: New statistics on college students committing or attempting suicide have lead some colleges to address the problem. Check out The suicide test.

  • More Devastation From Mother Nature: Reports of Solomons tsunami devastation grow.

  • Fuel for Both Sides of the Mommy Wars: Day Care Debate Continues and Will you regret staying home with your baby? I have been both a working and a stay-at-home mom, but I found the second article particularly offensive. I thought through my decision to stay home for a few years very carefully, but I had respect for those who made different choices. 'Nuf said.

Posted by L.C. at 01:01 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Filed under: News/Media/Studies