June 3, 2008 01:18 PM
Something in the Air?
I'm not sure what is going on lately, but my community seems to be surrounded by death. My daughter lost two friends a few weeks ago, then a local boy drowned at a water park, and a local girl died in a car accident just two days after graduating from high school. Then yesterday, dd and I were driving to a restaurant for dinner, and we came upon a horrific accident scene. One car was mangled, and the other not only mangled but all the windows were covered with sheets. We learned this morning that someone died in that accident.
These are just a few examples--there are more. It made me start to wonder how the friends and family members of those who pass away suddenly cope with the grief.
DD has coped pretty well with her friends' deaths, as have most in her group. But some of the teens are still in such pain they seem convinced it will never go away. I searched for information, and learned that there are two types of grief: normal and complicated.
wikipedia states:
Deaths such as suicides, murders, accidents, and other sudden and unexpected deaths can result in complicated grief due to the sudden shock. The surprise makes it difficult to integrate the "story" of the loss, so the person struggles with an initial task of simply believing that the loss has occurred. Variables surrounding the death such as expectedness, naturalness, presence of violence, ambivalence, degree of attachment, and others play into the presence of complicated grief.
No wonder these kids are hurting so much. Now dd and I can't seem to get that picture out of our heads. The accident scene from yesterday was a strange one. The second car ended up on a small hill, near a fast food restaurant. People were everywhere, just standing silently, looking. The grassy roadside was still dotted with people an hour later, looking shocked, wondering how it all happened. An apparent trip to a shopping center one evening ending like this.
