Fortyish is Fab

April 28, 2008

Goodbye Baby Boy

My Golden Retriever died of cancer at 2 p.m. today.
Goodbye Dylan. Rest in peace. (1999-2008)

rings

March 25, 2008

Poopy Talk

Okay, this has me a little freaked out. Salon recently published an article titled The bowel movement. Am I just too prissy for all this talk about poo? When my kids were in diapers, dh and I, and even my friends and I (all young moms at the time), used to chat about poo (which we lovingly called "poopy" when emitted from our precious babies' bottoms). Like "oh my goodness, that antibiotic gave my little princess such runny poopy!" Or "my little angel hasn't pooped in two days! I wonder if he's sick?" You know how young parents can be. But now, apparently, the business of our bowels is creeping into everyday conversation, and is even the topic of a popular book. Hmm. 'Nuf said.

November 26, 2007

Alzheimer's Gets Ink

Recently, an acquaintance of mine, who is in her early forties, was commenting on her own forgetfulness. She jokingly said something like "I guess Alzheimer's is setting in! Won't be long now!"

Uh-oh. Where did these feelings come from? Although I don't know her well, I'm pretty sure she wasn't trying to be mean, so I (politely, I think) pointed out to her that many people suffer from this debilitating disease, including my own mother. Let's just say the ensuing discussion didn't go very well. And I don't think I need to develop a "thicker skin", by the way, or learn to take a joke. Grr.

Although I was perturbed at the way this woman said it, apparently, memory loss is quite common in your forties and fifties these days, and a book called Carved in Sand, by Cathryn Jakobson Ramin, has some pretty interesting information on the topic, as well as on Alzheimer's Disease. You can check out Salon.com's interview with the author in the article, The mind's missing pieces.

And also in the news, I found an interesting article in Time magazine--Is Alzheimer's a Form of Diabetes?. The magazine reports that American researchers claim they've found a link between insulin and Alzherimer's.

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Filed under: Aging Parents | Health

November 20, 2007

In the News: Health Topics

For this edition of In the News, I'm focusing on health-related articles that have caught my eye. Check 'em out:

Chubby Gets a Second --New York Times: Looks like a few extra pounds might do us some good after all.
Picky Eating Is Genetic--Mother Talkers: One of my favorite sites, Mother Talkers, takes a look at the claim that picky eating may be genetic. (So my son isn't just being difficult? Hmm......)
Are You Making These Breast Mistakes?--More: Fresh on the heels of my own call from the OB/GYN telling me I need a mammogram redo, because of "unclear" results, this article caught my eye.All women over 40 (ok, even those younger) should take breast health seriously. Here's some help.
Goal-driven achievers less prone to Alzheimer’s--MSNBC: Since I'm one of those goal-driven types, I was glad to read this one.
Life Will Kill You--Salon.com: Salon reviews a book that fills us in on what we should avoid if we want to lesson our chances of developing some types of cancer.

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Filed under: Health

October 22, 2007

Baby Got Back (Pain)

The other day, I was in bed watching Oprah. Oh to some people, it sounds like a normal enough way to spend a weekday afternoon when you're off work, but not to me. I almost never (like once every few years) watch Oprah, and I almost never lie in bed between 4 and 5 p.m. But I'd thrown out my back about an hour before, and I was in bed on a heating bed, writhing in pain.

As luck would have it, Oprah's show that day was about women's health, and her guest was Christiane Northrup, author of The Wisdom of Menopause. I listened as they covered most of the aches, pains, and maladies I face (well, not this back stuff, but the other stuff, like headaches) and realized that all things considered, I am very much like many women my age. And the common factor that ties us all together is menopause--that looming-in-the-distance, inescapable part of life that is creeping up on me pretty quickly these days.

Is there hope? Once I can straighten up and not look like a troll from under the bridge, is all I have to look forward to simply mood swings, headaches, and weight gain? Apparently, there is hope, and it may lie in relatively simple things like a little exercise, eating right, and supplements such as Omega 3s and flax seed.

Before the end of the show, I called down to my son to bring me my laptop (I still couldn't walk--thank goodness I have children) so I could order the book from Amazon.com. I thought I'd go ahead and grab that menopause bull by the horns. Knowledge is power, ladies : )

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Filed under: General 40ish | Health

October 11, 2007

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and there's no better time to educate yourself on the disease that is expected the claim the lives of more than 40,000 American women this year.

If you'd like to learn more about breast cancer detection, treatment, and charitable causes, here are a few good Web site where you can begin:

The National Breast Cancer Awareness Month Web site
The American Cancer Society's breast cancer page
The Susan G. Komen for the Cure site.

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Filed under: General 40ish | Health

August 21, 2007

More Women Over 40 Suffer From Eating Disorders

If you think anorexia is a disease that strikes only teens and women in their twenties, you might be in for a surprise. According to this Times Online (U.K.) article, Too old to be skinny, the disease is now affecting more and more women over 40. Super-thin celebrities over 40 and societal pressures may drive even mature women to seek unhealthy ways to lose weight.

ABCnews.com also reported on this issue in Adult Anorexia on the Rise, and CBN.com reports in this article, Anorexia Expands to Over-40 Group, that one in 10 eating disorder patients are over 40.

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Filed under: General 40ish | Health

August 14, 2007

Walk for a Cure

Alzheimer's Disease is a brain disorder currently affecting 4.5 millions people in the U.S. alone. My mother is one of them.

If you would like to help join the fight against this devastating disease, check out The Alzheimer's Association Web site. There you'll find lots of information about the disease and about Memory Walk 2007, an event that will be held in cities across the country this fall, to raise awareness and funds for Alzheimer's research.

December 11, 2006

Finding the Silence Within

gown There was an announcement at church this Sunday that made me perk up in my seat and pay close attention. (Not that I usually don't pay attention in church, it's just that my service is awfully early.) So a woman announced that next week, the church would be hosting a three-hour, guided meditation program. I saw a lot of eyebrows raise when she said "three hour", and I guess it does sound like a pretty long time. At least I used to think that, until six years ago, when I delved into meditation in order to find my center and do a whole lot of healing.

It was at that time that I left a job I'd only had for about 20 months. I'd contracted for the company for years, but it wasn't until I was an employee of the organization that I began to get so battered and beaten, emotionally, that I had to find some way to heal from it all. It was (still is) a huge, international company, and the job I landed sounded like a dream job. But I learned over the course of that year and a half that your happiness and emotional well-being isn't just about your job, it's also (maybe mostly) about the company. I encountered the most nasty, abusive people I'd ever met while I worked there, and the politics didn't end at politics; they lead to backstabbing, lies, intimidation, and much worse. I remember the last six months on the job, when I would arrive in the morning, and I'd have to sit in my car and talk myself into going inside the building. It was, without a doubt, the worse situation I'd ever gotten myself into.

So I quit, and before I reembarked on my freelance career, I took a few months to sit and think. I began to meditate, and could hardly sit still for five minutes when I began. But I kept sitting, in lotus position, eyes closed, and trying. And trying. And trying some more. I read books on yoga and meditation and got to the point where a one-hour mediation session wasn't difficult at all--on the contrary, it was one of the most healing, wonderful experiences of my life. I purged myself of the pain, grieved (again) the loss of a friend, and just spent a lot of time listening to my own breath. In my own guided mediations, I visited a quiet beach where I would go alone to think as a teenager in Florida. I found God again (I'd lost him along the way somehow) and made peace within myself and a few people in my life I'd never really forgiven.

Three hours of silence. It sounds grueling, maybe impossible to some people. But me, it sounds like heaven.

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Filed under: General 40ish | Health

October 24, 2006

Stop Bullying Now

Years ago, I worked for a huge, multi-national corporation. It was a great job, with great pay, and great benefits. But there was one great big problem: my boss was a bully. She didn't look like a bully--in fact, she was a petite, cute women in her fifties who you'd believe was probably quite pleasant if you just saw her. But once I got to know her, I was astounded. She would verbally abuse everyone in her midst, particularly her employees, to the point of intimidation. One of my peers once told me she felt "like a battered wife" in her presence. Although my former boss never crossed the line and physically abused anyone, she did plenty of damage to her employees with the emotional venom she spewed each day. It was one of the worst years of my life.

Some bullies, however, do cross that line, and initiate physical contact with their victims. And when a bully victimizes your child, well...there are no words for the anger and fear it can bring to your home.

Some facts about bullying, from the Stop Bullying Now! Web site, include:

Studies show that between 15-25% of U.S. students are bullied with some frequency, while 15-20% report they bully others with some frequency.
Young people who bully are more likely than those who don't bully to skip school and drop out of school. They are also more likely to smoke, drink alcohol and get into fights.
Children who bully are more likely to get into fights, vandalize property, and drop out of school. And 60% of boys who were bullies in middle school had at least one criminal conviction by the age of 24.

It's time to take back our schools and DO something. I am tired of seeing kids--mine and others--victimized. It's time to step in and HELP the bullies too--help them regain control of their own lives, and help them get on the right track before it's too late. Isn't that why we're all here? To help each other out, to take care of one another?

I wish the answers were easy. I wish there was a way to make all those kids who are being bullied feel better and safe. I wish I could say this is all hypothetical and not happening in my own family's life, but that would not be true. I just want to see it all end. And I have no idea how to do that.

October 17, 2006

Returning to Life

Well the house of mono is beginning to get a break. My daughter went back to school this week, and other than her fatigue, she feels almost normal. Of course, she has tons of work to make up at school, since she missed nearly two weeks. Two weeks of work, seeing friends, and of course, two weeks of good ol' high school drama.

This has been a strange year for my dear daughter. Last night we joked that her life seems to be trapped in a vortex of chaos and insanity. We're not exaggerating much. This year, she ended a very long-term (1 year) dating relationship, became friends with people she once hated, and became enemies with several she once loved. Her first love (puppy love, at age 14) reappeared unexpectedly after nearly two years, and we learned how much we all missed him. She learned that timing is everything, when we left for vacation and a friend covered her usual shift at her job, and he was robbed at gunpoint. It would have been her if we hadn't been gone. She has been threatened by a troubled young girl, she has changed her lifelong plans to pursue a career in medicine and decided to become a teacher instead. It seems that the changes just never stop coming.

But more recently, when she became ill, I told her that she would learn some things about the people in her life that might be good or bad, but that illness and absence did have a way of teaching us important lessons. And I was correct. It seems that for some people, out of sight equals out of mind. (Like the boyfriend who went AWOL as soon as she became ill.) And for others, seeing their friend suffer brings about their finest, strongest moments. When my daughter's best friend ignored the risk of contracting the disease and showed up at our door with a gift bag full of my daughter's favorite candy and two-dozen roses, I knew my kid had done something very right this year--choose a friend who loves her fiercely. She also learned that her little brother, who may annoy her at times (make that often) would do almost anything to see her happy. He and I went shopping when she was ill, and he kept finding things he thought his sister would like, need, or just make her happy, and badgered me until I bought almost all of them. Despite the fact that he'd been saving his allowance for a while and had a walletful of cash to spend on himself, he was much more interested in looking for things for her. Quite a proud moment for this mama.

So as we move on into a normal, healthy life, I told my daughter to be glad for the lessons mono taught her. That she has true friends after all. That she has a brother who adores her. That you don't miss being healthy until you lose it, so you shouldn't take it for granted. And that those icky, trying, difficult moments in life, in time, will pass.

Posted by L.C. at 08:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Filed under: Health | Parenting

October 10, 2006

Who Have You Been Kissing?

gown As my daughter sits at her computer, she receives a message and lets out a sigh and rolls her eyes. For about the tenth time this week, one of her friends has asked her the question: "So...who have you been kissing?"

It's not that my daughter's moral character is suddenly being called into question by her peers. It's just that she has mono, and almost every time she tells one of her friends, they respond by asking her who she got it from, and who she's been kissing. Well the truth is, she's only been kissing one boy for the past two months, and he doesn't appear to have the disease (At least, not yet.) When she informs her friends that her boyfriend is still mono-free, they typically, although jokingly, add, "then who did you get it from?"

According to the MayoClinic.com:

Infectious mononucleosis (mono), or glandular fever, is often called the kissing disease. The label is only partly true. The virus that causes this disease is transmitted through saliva, so kissing can spread the virus, but so can coughing, sneezing, or sharing a glass or food utensil.

My poor kid is tired, sick, and really doesn't want to hear the question anymore. The truth is that like the common cold she had last month, she has no idea where she picked up that nasty little mono virus. She does work at a drugstore, and is regularly sneezed on, coughed on, and in general contact with sick people each time she goes to work. Her friends just aren't buying the story. And they're really starting to get on my nerves.

Anyway, this week has been draining for all of us here in my house. I moved my son's belongings out of the bathroom he shares with his big sister, because I sure don't want two kids with mono on my hands. I've been e-mailing teachers, talking to high school administrators, and trying to find some way to return to my own normal routine, which doesn't include so many doctors visits and pharmacy visits and spraying Lysol all over everything my oldest child has touched in a week.

So maybe life will get back to normal soon. And all those pesky teenagers will stop asking my daughter about her kissing habits.

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Filed under: Health | Parenting

October 09, 2006

Cheating Death

For the second time in a month, I'm writing about death. Well actually, today the topic of cheating death is on my mind.

About four years ago, my mother (then 74) had her first stroke. She'd had high blood pressure for more than 20 years, and had tried a series of medications with little success (or too many side effects). Her first stroke was serious, and two more strokes followed over the next two years. Add to that a heart problem and the onset of Alzheimer's disease, and it seemed that my mother was a time bomb waiting to explode. It wasn't a question of if. It became a question of when.

Nearly a year ago, as my mother was quicky deteriorating in an assisted living facility (in the full-care, Alzheimer's wing), her doctor called my sister and told her he would like for Mom to enter the Hospice program. He and Mom's neurologist felt she had about six months to live, perhaps a year if we were lucky. We proceeded with the paperwork and she was approved, then we moved her into a Hospice-participating facility. We sat back and waited, as we watched the wonderfully attentive Hospice nurses tend to Mom, preparing her (and preparing us) for the end.

Ten months later, we were still waiting. Then we got a call last week: "Your mother has improved so much, that we are recommending she be taken out of the Hospice program." After our collective "HUH?", my sister and I tried to determine how in the world this woman, who had been knocking on death's door for years, had managed to cheat death, again. She'd had a few hospital visits over the past few years when she wasn't expected to live through the week. But she just keeps on ticking and ticking.

Years ago, when my mother first became ill and was still able to communicate, she told me her secret, and it went something like this: "I won't die. Good, nice people die. I'm too fiesty to go." I assumed she was kidding, then I remembered how she'd been all her life, and fiesty was a great understatement. She was smart and funny and creative, but her difficult streak was a mile wide. She was quite proud to be called bitchy and grumpy and difficult, and just laughed when anyone would point out these traits. Once when she was still communicating, I told her I would fly down to visit her if she could behave for a few weeks. (The nursing home staff had told us she was being bossy and uncooperative at the time.) When I suggested the deal to her, she said "Well, I guess you won't be coming!" and hung up on me.

Is it true that only the good die young? Does a defiant, you-can't-take-me-that-easily attitude make the Angel of Death quiver in his boots and say "Okay. I'll be back in a few years"? I'm not sure. But somehow, my 90-pound, incoherent, ill mother has figured out how to stay alive for years beyond what her doctors and everyone else has expected. And for that, I think bitchiness deserves at least a bit of the credit.

October 02, 2006

Are We Media-Numb?

About two weeks ago, my teenage daughter, her boyfriend, and I went out to lunch to my daughter's favorite restaurant. We promptly ordered our favorite appetizer: spinach and artichoke dip. But the waiter informed us that the restaurant was currently not serving this dish, or any other containing spinach, due to the E-coli-infected spinach that has been found in 26 states across the U.S., and has already killed one person and made 187 others sick.

I'd heard about the whole spinach E-coli scare, of course, because like a good little citizen, I try to read the newspaper, scan news items on the Internet, and watch a television news broadcast at least a few times a week. But I started thinking about how although I knew eating spinach was not the greatest idea, I ordered it anyway. And I decided that I do not have a death wish, I'm just one of the many Americans who gets so much news on a daily basis that not all of it sticks. To be perfectly honest, I began to wonder if the amount of media I am exposed to has made me a bit numb.

I feel particularly strange about this revelation because I am, by trade and by education, a journalist. Although I ditched news journalism for the fluffier, much-more-fun lifestyle stuff more than a decade ago, I do remember my hard news days well, covering the city and police beat in a South Florida town, spending my days staying on top of whatever news the residents of my community needed to know. When I was an eager journalism student, I could not imagine a time when important news stories would just float through me, when much of the news would have little-to-no affect on my day-to-day life. I never imagined that there would be a day when I would hear about deaths and armed robberies and even war without so much as looking up from the dinner I was cooking at the time. But that day has come.

Has the news become just another backdrop of our lives, like the music being emitted from our iPods? I'd like to think that isn't the case. Perhaps as I get older, my brain is just a little lower on bandwidth. Whatever the case may be, I'm just glad that alert waiters and the CDC are looking out for me. Every little bit helps.

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Filed under: Health | News/Media/Studies

September 16, 2006

Thoughts on Dying

Over dinner yesterday evening, my son and I were talking about dying. I was talking about my mother, who is 78, has Alzheimer's Disease (final stages), a heart condition, and has had three strokes. She is unable to communicate or take care of any of her own needs. She resides in a wonderful nursing home and is in hospice care. We're not sure when she will die, of course, but her doctors suspect it will be sometime in the next six months or so.

So, anyway, my son and I were talking about dying. He's nearly 12, and he understands that Grandma is dying and that although we may be sad when it happens, she's lived a long, good life. We have all been prepared for her to die for a while now. Then we talked about my Dad--a fairly healthy, 80-year-old man who still lives alone and drives and has some, but not any major, medical issues. He's two years older than my mother, yet, if he were to die I'd be pretty shocked and upset, although he has already lived past the average life expectancy for a male in the U.S. I think it comes down to what you expect. Life experience tells us that your grandparents die first, then your parents, then you and your siblings die. But of course, life isn't so predictable sometimes. And when people die out of the order in which we expect, it can throw us for quite the emotional loop.

I was twelve years old the first time someone in my life died. She was the younger sister of my close friend, and she was killed in a car accident when she was ten. We all cried at school, and it felt so strange to have her just not there. It was as if she just disappeared. I didn't think about the accident, I didn't think about her dying. She was just gone one day. I was 22 the next time a friend died. Another accident. I cried and screamed and pounded my fists on the ground and yelled at God. Then I wiped it from my mind a few weeks later, and tried not to think about it. It just hurt too much to remember him, and my mind just wouldn't let me go there for a long time. When I finally thought about it, a few years later, I allowed myself to truly grieve. I wept for weeks.

I always thought I wanted to die when I was old--really old, like 100. Now, it doesn't seem to matter anymore. As I watch my mother deteriorate, life and death take on new meanings. I'm still just trying to decipher what those meanings are to me.

August 04, 2006

My Head Might Explode

Can your brain actually be on overload? I mean, if there's too much on your mind, can your head just explode? Well if that's possible, I think my head is going to go pop at any moment.

Summer vacation is coming to an end, and although I've had two and one-half months to prepare for this, I seem to have been totally caught off guard. My kids have no shoes for school, since they can't wear the flip-flops they've lived in all summer, and both have either outgrown or beaten to death the athletic shoes they have in their closets. Yesterday, I learned that my son has outgrown every pair of jeans he has, and most of his shirts are in pretty bad shape (either too small or too ratty for me to allow him to wear them to school). So next week looks like marathon shopping week for us. Plus, we have to pick up about 500 items from the school supplies list. But who's counting?

My daughter had her wisdom teeth removed the day before yesterday, and she is swollen, in pain, and a general mess right now. As if having a 16-year-old isn't tough enough, this just really stinks for all of us. Not that she's grumpy or anything, but...okay, she's grumpy. Oh man, is she grumpy. She also had to quit her job last week. Long story there, but the sandwich shop where she works was robbed, and her friend had a gun held to his head. Needless to say, the teens that work there were all traumatized, and since some have to work shifts alone from time to time, many of them quit.

In addition, I am looking for some work (freelance or part-time), trying to squeeze in a trip to Florida see my ailing mother, battling some kidney issues, and dealing with the fact that I will be 42 tomorrow. It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would (the birthday, not the kidney stuff). Perhaps that's one pleasant side effect from having a cluttered mind at the moment.

April 26, 2006

Is it Hot in Here or is it Just Me?

Yes, I think it happened. I think I had my very first hot flash the other day. I was driving to the high school to pick up my daughter, and all of the sudden I felt hot and clammy and started sweating. A few minutes later, it was gone.

To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure that it was a hot flash. I hadn't been feeling great all day, and I was a tad nauseous before this. But for me, the possibility that this was a peri-or-pre-menopausal-relate hot flash made me stop and think. I'm not upset, and I don't suddenly feel old. But the episode did make me start thinking about how my body and my life are changing, as I get closer to my 42nd birthday.

The other day I was getting ready to go out and I noticed, for the first time, that my neck is looking pretty wrinkly. Or is it saggy? I don't know, but it looks different. I've also noticed that my hands have started to show my age a lot too. And of course, those gray hairs poking out of my head are kind of a pain to deal with. But you know something? I just don't seem to care about all this stuff like I thought I would. I notice what's happening, but it's more like I'm watching a science experiment or something. And I am test subject. Hmm.

P.S.--Last day to visit my renter!

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Filed under: Health

March 12, 2006

Feeling Stressed Out?

Want to check the stress level in your life? Check out this quiz at Ladies Home Journal--Assess Your Stress. You just answer 12 questions and it lets you know how stressed you currently seem to be. After your quiz, check out the Relaxation Zone or take a few more quizzes, like "Does Your Love Life Need Some Spice" or "How Organized Are You" on LHJ's Stress, Mind & Body Quiz Site.

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Filed under: Health

March 01, 2006

Health Issues for Women Over 40

When you think about the health issues of women over forty, the first things that come to mind are menopause (peri-menopause, and pre-menopause) and breast cancer right? They're important health issues, and we should all be thinking about them. But it's also important to remember that women over forty have many health issues to consider. I learned that last week, after an irregular pap smear.

No need to worry about me--my irregular results turned out to be nothing. But the scare did inspire me to think about some other important health matters. For instance:

thyroid health
cholesterol
skin cancer
colon health
and several others.

I found this handy, comprehensive Health Checklist for Women Over 40 on WebMd. It includes information on testing in important areas, the age such tests should begin, and how often physicians recommend you test.

And don't forget that exercise is more important than ever once you've reached your forties. Check out this article about exercise and fitness for women over forty from wacotrib.com.

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Filed under: Health