Fortyish is Fab

April 22, 2008

Do Reps Matter Anymore?

I've been thinking a lot about reputations lately. My thoughts were prompted by the news last week that a local high school teacher was arrested for his inappropriate relationship with a student. Then later that week, a boy I know got into some hot water because he (allegedly) had a little too much fun over spring break, while his girlfriend was back home.

A few weeks ago, I was speaking with dd (who's 18) about reputations and she said it's quite difficult to get a "bad reputation" in high school these days because no one really cares what you do. I don't really buy this argument, but what do I know? I graduated from high school almost 26 years ago. Perhaps times have really changed. Can a teenage boy who has a lovely girlfriend cheat on her and really have no one think badly of him? I doubt it. And after the teen years, reputation is more complicated. If it all turns out to be true, and who knows at this point, can a teacher who cheats on his wife and has a sexual relationship with a student really ever get his good name back?

I once had a boss who told me my biggest flaw was that I "wanted to be liked and have people think well of me." I looked at her and said, "who doesn't want to be liked? Who would choose to have people think badly of them?" When she turned and flew off on her broom (get it?) I suddenly got it: reputation is a concept that means different things to different people. When I worked for a large corporation, I did want to be liked, and also respected. My old boss didn't care about those things, and as a result, was quite disliked and not respected at all.

According to wikipedia:

Reputation is the opinion (more technically, a social evaluation) of the public toward a person, a group of people, or an organization.

wikipedia also states:

Reputation is known to be a ubiquitous, spontaneous and highly efficient mechanism of social control in natural societies.

Whoa. Social control? I hadn't ever thought of it like that, but it makes sense to me. Either way, I will continue to tell my kids that reputation does matter. Because I still believe that it's tough out there, and sometimes, your good reputation is all you have.

April 18, 2008

Rules of Order

The other day, I was speaking with a friend who is going through a hard time. A relative is very ill, and might not make it. This is causing a lot of stress and disruption in her family's lives, of course, but something she said really stuck with me. When speaking of her situation, she said "and what makes it worse is that my house is a mess. And when my house is out of order, I feel like my life is out of control." I could have said these very same words, and I'll bet there are plenty of people who feel the same way. In times of stress or change or other events, I can often be found straightening, organizing, and cleaning. I learned this about myself just after my mother had her first stroke, and I spent a week at her home scrubbing it down and tossing things out. And even in low-stress times, you know that feeling you get, just after you've cleaned your home and filed away all your bills and organized your closet? Well for me, that's one of the best feelings ever.

So I went in search of support for my "organized is always better" theory and did find plenty of articles, but was also surprised to find some experts saying the very opposite. In Time's Messy is the New Neat, I read that some people argue that spending lots of time organizing can be counterproductive. And in CBS News' Being Messy Has Its Perks, I learned something I didn't know: that really messy people do actually know where their stuff is, so perhaps to them, the disorder (as we see it) is quite orderly.

So, am I convinced that being neat is a waste of time? No way. Perhaps it's my nature or just my preference, but I'll take a nice, neat room with shoes lined up in a closet and books organized by height over a messy one any day. It just makes me feel better. Life is hard enough, and I always like to know exactly where my new Justin boots, favorite University of Florida pen, and my favorite scissors with the pink handle are, just in case I need them.

March 25, 2008

Poopy Talk

Okay, this has me a little freaked out. Salon recently published an article titled The bowel movement. Am I just too prissy for all this talk about poo? When my kids were in diapers, dh and I, and even my friends and I (all young moms at the time), used to chat about poo (which we lovingly called "poopy" when emitted from our precious babies' bottoms). Like "oh my goodness, that antibiotic gave my little princess such runny poopy!" Or "my little angel hasn't pooped in two days! I wonder if he's sick?" You know how young parents can be. But now, apparently, the business of our bowels is creeping into everyday conversation, and is even the topic of a popular book. Hmm. 'Nuf said.

March 21, 2008

Starting Over

When I was a college student in my late teens and early twenties, I used to drive five hours back to my parents' house in South Florida for holidays and long weekends. Although my life was relatively happy in those days, it was also stressful, as the pressure of keeping up good grades, holding down a demanding internship, and searching for a job in a recession-riddled country faced me. In addition, my parents split in those years, and the bitter divorce added even more stress for all of us. On the long drives back home from college and my horrible, first post-college job in Georgia, I would pass the exits for tiny little beach towns, and wonder..."What would it be like to just exit here and start over? To just chuck it all and go somewhere new and start over?"

Of course, these were just fantasies--fleeting, unrealistic fantasies that I never planned to follow through with, even if I could have. But I think most people, at one time or another, have wished to just go somewhere new and start over fresh, minus the baggage that adulthood inevitably brings.

Those days more than 20 years ago came rushing back today when I read this article, Man Auctions His Life, on Reuters Oddly Enough site. It seems a bit extreme, but hey, it's his life. (But not for long...)

March 06, 2008

This Can't Be Right

I took a quiz to see how normal I am, and this was the result, despite having loads of evidence to the contrary:

You Are Fairly Normal

You scored 55% normal on this quiz

Like most people you are normal in some ways...
But you aren't a completely normal person. You're a little weird too!

Why You Are Normal:

You think fishnet stockings are trashy

You think glasses can make someone more attractive

If you had to, you rather live without music and still have laughter

You would rather be an astronaut than a movie star

You check your daily horoscope

Why You Aren't Normal:

You prefer flat potato chips.

You are no longer with your first love

You rather screw someone over than be screwed over

You prefer non fiction to fiction

You find the Chicken Dance to be the more embarrassing dance

What's Normal About You... And What's Not?

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab

February 12, 2008

Valentine's Day Ideas

If you have a sweetie in your life, then you probably know that you only have two days to think of something to do for Valentine's Day. If you're at a loss, like I am, start by checking out Craftbits.com. This site offers a bunch of Valentine's Day crafts, gift ideas, DIY projects. Then head over to Lovingyou.com's Valentine's Day Guide. It has great ideas too, including tons of card ideas, certificates, and crafts.

Posted by L.C. at 11:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under: Meaningless Gab

February 08, 2008

SATC Movie: FINALLY!

Four years after the end of the greatest television show that has ever aired, Sex and the City, we finally have that movie we've been hearing about forever. This May, we can all put our full-series DVD sets on hold for a while, because the Sex and the City movie will hit theaters. In addition to our beloved foursome, a new cast member--Jennifer Hudson--joins as Carrie's assistant.

Check out a trailer, synopsis, photos, and blog on the official movie site .

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab

February 05, 2008

Super Tuesday Thoughts

Can't you just smell the democracy in the air? I can. Actually, it's just really humid and warm outside today, so the air feels a little different. Not like winter at all anymore. But anyhoo...

I marched off (okay, I drove) to the polls this morning around 10 a.m., which I planned carefully so I could avoid the before-work rush as well as the lunchtime rush. I was the only one there, and I felt kind of lonely, to be honest. I mean, this is one of the things that's so cool about being American, right? Voting? I just think it would have been more fun to be part of at least a small crowd. But the old people that work the polls, now they were cute and fun, and this older gentleman chased me into the hall waiving a sticker because I forgot to get one when I was leaving.

So I decided which candidate to vote for about an hour before I got there (sorry, not telling). Then I got home and found an article that I wish I'd read before I'd left. It covers a very important issue I hadn't even considered, and now I am so embarrassed that I hadn't thought of this before I cast my vote. ABCnews.com's feature, Super Style: Barack vs. Hillary, spells it out. We need a president with STYLE, people! And the only thing funnier than this article are the reader comments that follow. Just because it's Super Tuesday doesn't mean we can't have a little fun now, does it?

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab

October 10, 2007

Aaaaaah....Fall

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab

September 17, 2007

Prized Possessions

About 10 years ago, my home alarm went off in the middle of the night. My daughter, six or seven years old at the time, ran into the hallway holding a box of her beloved plastic action figures. She thought the house was on fire, and this box of small plastic toys was what she chose, above all her other belongings, to save. It turned out to be a false alarm, and all was well a few minutes later. But the incident did make me wonder about what is important to different people in their lives.

I shared the story on vacation a few years ago, and my friend asked me what I would save if I was faced with a real fire or other such catastrophe. "Besides your family and your pets, what would you take if you could only grab one thing," my friend asked. My first instinct was to say my laptop computer, since my many work-in-progress files, e-mails, digital photographs, and other important documents reside on it. But since I backup all my files on a mini-hard drive, I would really just need that. Still, I didn't want to waste my one choice on a mini-hard drive. There just didn't seem to be much romance in that.

I about it a while longer. My mother's quinceanera portrait from Cuba? My parent's wedding rings? My college diploma? Wedding video? Photos of my children? All important items, yet none of them seemed like an obvious choice. I was baffled.

Then I decided, that I wouldn't grab a thing. I'd make sure my children, dh, and pets were out safely, then run like hell to save myself. No regrets, like "why my mother's photo and not my father's ring?" in the future. It was somewhat surprising to realize that nothing, even sentimental items, is that important to me. Then again, it's also somewhat freeing.

August 08, 2007

Birthday Update

My 43rd birthday was last weekend, and it was pretty fun. I was on vacation with my family, plus three spare kids, and we boated and sunned and ate tons of junk for a week. Since we were in the Middle of Nowhere, South Carolina, it was a pretty quiet week. Dh drove 15 miles to the Super Wal-mart and got me a confetti cake and chocolate pie for my birthday celebration. I took the liberty of purchasing my own birthday gift a few days before we left, since everyone was, you know, busy with their own stuff. I really just did it to save them time. Yeah that's it.

So this is what I got: these cute denim capris and embroidered floral cardigan from White House Black Market. My kids got me cards, my dh's friend got me a bag of Cracker Jacks (long story), and my little friend Kelsey (she's 3) did a lovely interpretive dance while family and friends sang Happy Birthday for me. It was fab.

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Filed under: General 40ish | Meaningless Gab

July 13, 2007

A Threat to School Security?

I support my local public school system, and I have two kids currently attending my local high school and middle school. Let me just put that out there before I say this: sometimes I wonder what kind of idiots are running some of the public schools in this country, especially when I read something like this:
‘I Love Alex’ earns girl 4-month suspension.

My question is, what ever happened to common sense? Should policy overrule that EVERYTIME? I say this out of sheer frustration, and I bring my own baggage to the table. I still can't help but wonder.

July 08, 2007

What Do You Wanna Be?

My son wants to design video games when he's older or perhaps be an engineer. My daugher wants to be a social worker or maybe a high school foreign language teacher. And my niece seems to be heading for a field in some sort of medicine. But what happens when you want to be something that's a bit more...offbeat? You're in luck, because now you can turn to one place--Wikihow.com-- to pursue your dreams, no matter how unusual they may be.

Check out these fun articles:

Want to Become a Philosopher? Here's how to start.

Prefer a more laid-back lifestyle to the 9-5 grind? Check out How to Be-a-Happy-Bicycling-Hobo-With-an-Income or just the plain, simple truth about How to Be a Slacker.

And for the adventurous type, check out How to Build a Stand-up Roller Coaster, How to Get a Fishing Job in Alaska, or How to Become a Bounty Hunter.

No matter you decide to pursue, remember Abe Lincoln's words: Whatever you are...be a good one.

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab | Reviews

June 14, 2007

Going Home Again

rings At least once a year, my kids and I pile into my car and make the 700-mile trek to the South Florida town where I spent the second half of my childhood. Our drive begins in the rolling hills of Northern Georgia, and gives way to the flat, orange-grove dotted landscape of central Florida. Finally, when the orange groves disappear, and we leave Orlando in the dust, we know we are close. And I get that little lump in my throat.

South Florida is an interesting place to grow up in. Vacationers see it as a sunny, tropical paradise. But we (those who have lived there, that is) know it can be just a bit different at times. We've lived through numerous hurricanes and the daily scorching heat, and we endure things like Spring Break traffic. But then I remember being a teenager, when I could hop into my car and be at the beach all oiled up and ready to tan in 20 minutes flat--from my driveway to my beach chair at the water's edge.

Each year when I return, now that I've lived away from there for more than 20 years, I still marvel at the palm-tree lined streets and stretch of sandy, white beach. I pass my old high school and get a bit choked up, and crack a smile as I pass the restaurant where I went for my first car date (a total disaster, by the way), and my best friend's street, and the mall where I spent countless hours shopping as a kid and a teenager.

And even though the address on my driver's license says I live 700 miles away from here, I know that this is home. It will always be home.

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Filed under: General 40ish | Meaningless Gab

May 23, 2007

Another Boy Busted

This is an open letter to teenage boys out there, because I keep seeing them make the same mistake. Think of it as a sort of public service announcement:

Dear Teenage Boy:
I want to warn you about an impending danger that may affect your life. I like to call it "Getting Busted on MySpace". Oh, I know, it sounds silly, but just hear an old woman out. I have a teenage daughter and she has lots of girl friends, and all of them have tapped into a wonderful, foolproof way to find out if you're a good guy or not. I am talking about visiting your MySpace everyday.

Let me just tell you how it keeps happening around here. My daughter and her friends get a new boyfriend. "Oh my God! He's soooooooo sweet!" That's what I hear for the first couple of weeks. And "Look Mom! I'm number one on his MySpace top friends! Wait a minute! Who is that girl who's number 2? I don't think I know her..." So I reply "oh honey, that's great." Then I walk into the kitchen and look at the calendar and say something like: "I give it two weeks." And by the end of those two weeks, in many cases (okay, some make it three or four), that boy is history. Because of MySpace.

Okay, it's not exactly because of MySpace, because I actually think a lot of good can come from this gigantic social networking site. The problem is, I keep seeing teens who don't seem tounderstand that if THEY can see what's on their MySpace, well, so can other people, like their significant others. So this week, for the third time, a boy I know got busted for flirting with other girls on MySpace. Is it the end of the world? Of course not, I'm sure he'll be fine in a few days. But honestly, if you're in a "committed" relationship and you go to other people's sites and ask "Are you single?" or go as far as saying something like "damn mami, you're fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Can I have your number?" Or, as in the most daring one I've seen yet: "Hey babe, you like soccer huh? How about you and I play a little one on one?" Well, let's just say your girlfriend is going to find out. And all the "it meant nothings" in the world can't erase what's out there. And by the way, the boy standing in my front yard last night had the most pitiful "deer in the headlights" look on his face and, well, it didn't help him at all, and neither did the subsequent, "How did you find out?" that he saw some strange need to ask at that moment. When you're busted, you're busted. And he was. And he is a nice kid, and you may be a nice kid too. It's just that relationships are difficult for everyone, especially for teens, and putting your life out there on your Web page, well, it just might come back to bite you in the...well, you get the idea.

So, here's my advice: if you want a girlfriend, you might not want to have a MySpace site, or at least, you might want to conduct your shady business with the Private Messaging tool. I'm not condoning flirting with other girls here, I'm just saying, be smart. And be nice. And if you can't, then just be single and flirt all you want.

Sincerely.
L.C.

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab | Parenting

April 24, 2007

Bad Boys, Bad Boys...Watcha Gonna Do?

At 17, a certain teenage girl I know is learning a difficult lesson, and it is this: bad boys often have a certain appeal, and even the smartest girls may not be able to resist that appeal. Their rugged, what-will-he-do-next sort-of charm can be tough to dismiss, particularly when you are the object of his affection. But underneath it all, these guys are, well, still "bad". And I have yet to meet a woman who ended up living happily ever after with a bad boy.

So this girl I know, she's been in and out of love with a bad boy for more than two years now. They've dated a few times, typically for a month or two, and the end is usually quite emotional and disastrous. But in between the dating, she and the bad boy are friends--great friends, in fact, and I think this is why she often ends up dating him again. She, being a sweet young thing who sees a bit of good in everyone, admires his intelligence, sense of humor, and how much he cares about her. She even understands why virtually all her friends roll their eyes at the least, and beg her not to at the most, when she begins to develop "feelings" for him, once again. She says it will be different this time. Then, although he doesn't necessarily treat her horribly, his bad-boy behavior, habits, and problems get in the way and create some big conflict that ends in tears, yelling, and the much-expected "I told you so" from her friends.

So the other day, I was listening to the 2,375th story about how he has disappointed her. I just sat shaking my head, telling her all the things she already knows: She's smart. She deserves better. He isn't boyfriend material. And I make sure to tell her she'll learn from all of this--like I did.

My mistake wasn't just a bad boy, he was Mr. Wrong in every sense of the word. Everything about him was wrong--wrong time in our lives for a relationship, for starters, because I was 19 and he was 20, and the world was at our feet. But instead of chasing my dreams, I ended up chasing him around a lot, trying to take care of him. I spent years trying to fix him--his medical problems, his financial problems, his family problems, his school-related problems. And he was, in the classic sense, a bad boy. He drank too much, used drugs, did poorly in school, got speeding tickets, got into a few fights. He wasn't getting arrested for serious crimes, but I always worried that would be next, so I had to constantly keep an eye on him. It was like being the 19-year-old mother of a grown man. It was exhausting, and now and then, I wistfully look back and wonder what I missed during those years, when I was too young and in love to see that his neediness would never, ever be filled.

Three-and-a-half years of my life, gone, wasted, down the drain. Some laughs, some good times, but mostly not-so-good times. I was a smart girl making some really bad choices. Was it the excitement? My youthful inexperience? Sheer stupidity? Perhaps all three, at different times. And now I am surrounded by teenage girls who are doing the same thing, because the one girl I have been talking about isn't the only one who is falling for a bad boy. And when they're crying and they think the world is over because that bad boy has hurt them, yet again, I tell them this: "It's not you, it's him. You can't fix him, you will never fix him. So go on, make yourself happy. And learn from your mistakes. And from mine."

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab | Parenting

April 12, 2007

R.I.P. Kurt Vonnegut

Salon.com has published this really nice tribute to legendary author Kurt Vonnegut, who passed away this week. Check it out.

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab

April 11, 2007

Silly Quiz of the Day

So true, so true--me in a nutshell:

You Are a Glam Rocker!

You put the "show" in rock show with your larger than life self.
No doubt, you are all about making good music...
But what really gets you going is having an over the top show.
Glitter, costumes, and wild hair are your thing - with some rock thrown in!

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab

March 29, 2007

Sibling Memory

I recently read an article in More magazine, by author Kathyrn Harrison. In the article, titled "Speak, Memory," Harrison reveals that with no living parents or siblings, her own childhood memories are all she has. She also reports that even some experts assert that "memories are not received but created". If no one is around to verify or deny those facts, how can we know if what we remembered is accurate?

I started thinking about my own childhood, and the facts surrounding it that my brother and sister can confirm, deny, or dispute. We do this often, my siblings and I, and the practice has made for some laughs and even a few arguments. ("...no, it didn't happen that way! It happened like this...") The truth is that there are only two other people that know exactly what it was like to grow up in my childhood home as children of my two parents; only my brother and sister were there when the incidents that make up my childhood memories occurred.

My children (there are two) have each other, and I've never been more thankful for this than now. I worried that the fact that they are five years apart in age and different sexes might mean that they wouldn't have much in common. But then I see them whispering about a Mother's Day secret gift, or how to keep one of their latest science quiz grades a secret from me and dh. That's when I know they're in it together, just like my brother and I were. I recently recalled the day my mother uncovered some alcohol in my room when I was 17, and my brother (19, and legally able to drink at that time) took that blame and said it was his. His reaction was automatic: protect his little sister, and reduce the fighting that would surely ensure if he did not.

As the baby of the family, I often felt like an only child during my last few years at home. My brother was away at college and my sister, nearly a decade older than me, was married and starting a family. But as my mother battles Alzheimer's Disease, our ages, where we live, and what we bicker over disappears.

I found a picture the other day of my mother as a young girl, and quickly called my older sister to tell her about it. "Do you remember how pretty Mom was? And those wool suits she'd wear, and the blonde beehive hairdo she had?" And my sister laughed and said "Yes, I remember. The green suit was my favorite. I remember when she bought it...you were little but we went shopping one day..." She tells me the story, and it makes me feel like I'm not alone facing my mother's illness. Like when I visit Mom, and her eyes are so blank, it lets me know that there are two other people in this world that remembers her the way I do.

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab

March 07, 2007

Stories to Check Out

Some interesting stories for you to check out:

Feeling pooped on? Check out this letter at Salon.com. Because we all have our bad days.
Is this Jesus's tomb? James Cameron thinks so.
Narcissism hits higher ed. Check it out on this MSNBC article.
At hipmama.com, one mom writes a letter to her daughter's adolescence.
Guard your pooches. One family's prized terriers were snatched at gunpoint in California.
Is this really a good way to handle a problem with your child's school? I don't think so.

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab

February 19, 2007

They Like Me. They Really Like Me.

Is it the height of tackiness to talk about your blog's advertising in a blog post? Well if so, I'm getting ready to be really tacky. So if this offends you in any way, please stop reading.

. . . . .

Okay, so I went to my mailbox the other day and saw an e-mail from Text-Link-Ads.com, the company that handles sales for my blog's text ads. I get e-mail from them often, and usually, it's a notification about a new ad request that requires my approval. And this e-mail, on that day, was no different. At least, it didn't seem different...

I went to my admin area of the site, logged in, and clicked on my "Approve New Ads" link. When I arrived at the page, I saw one word there, to identify latest request: Prada. "Wait.....WAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT? PRADA!!!????? Am I dreaming? Is it a site that sells Prada knock-off purses or something, because if it is, no way am I going to be involved with that", I thought to myself. But, not only was it not a knock-off site, the site requesting to advertise their Prada merchandise on my crazy little blog was Saks Fifth Avenue. On my site. Mine. For a moment, I felt like I was starring in an episode of Sex and the City or something. And I was Carrie. It felt kind of like that.

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab | Shopping

February 12, 2007

Shopping Roundup

This week, I mourn the loss of something that was very special to me: my leather coat. Somehow, I ended up with someone else's leather coat in my closet, and I have no idea who it belongs to, but the owner of this coat probably has mine in her closet. It seems like a situation that could be easily remedied, doesn't it? Well it might be, at a different time of year. But in December, I hosted a surprise birthday party and had many people (at least 50) at my home. The owner of the coat in my possession--who probably took my coat by mistake--could be anyone of those guests. I also attended a Christmas party at the home of an acquaintance, and it was a large party and I knew few of the guests. I might have picked up the wrong coat on my way out. I also attended a few church events, and we all normally drop out jackets off at the door. I might have taken the wrong one home at some point. Now you see why tracking down my coat has been such a challenge?

I've begun to contact people about my poor missing coat, but haven't had any luck yet. And I must say, it sounds silly, but I LOVED that coat. It was just the right size, which is a feat in itself for me. It was soft but not too soft, long but not too long, and just right for our recent cold days. It's the only real coat I've owned in many years. I've had it for five years, and it took me several years to find it. It was so perfect. I feel like I might cry.

Anyway, with several weeks (at least) left of cold weather, I had to break down and find another coat. I refuse to buy another leather one, because I'm still clinging to the hope that mine might show up. Luckily for me, many stores are hosting outerwear clearance sales. I picked up a fabulous Fleet Street coat that looks like this one (except mine has a velvet collar and removable hood) at a big discount last week at Macys. I also hit Kohls today and got this Sonoma sweater and apt. 9™ Solid Belted Tunic, both buy-one-get-one-free. (The tunic looks GREAT over skinny jeans!) To finish up my very productive shopping day, I stopped at Target to get my daughter a Valentine's gift and my husband a Valentine's Day/anniversary gift. For my girl, I got a pair of chenille-like pink socks and white socks with a rhinestone heart at the top. For my husband, I picked up this iHome Portable iPod Stereo, so he won't have to hook his up to mine anymore ; )

I hope you all have a great week, full of love, happiness, and mind-blowing clearance sales.

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab | Shopping

February 06, 2007

Fun Quizzes

Looking for a fun, quick quiz to help you kill some time? Check these out:

Are You A Fashion Do or Don't, from ivillage.
Which Candy Heart Are You?, in honor of Valentine's Day.
How Cruel Are You?, from funquizcards.
Anxiety Screening, from Psych Central.

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab

January 19, 2007

Sites I'm Diggin'

I've been surfing around a bit lately, and I thought I'd let you know about some sites I am frequenting these days:

The Cowboy Boot Web Page--If you love boots (like I do), visit this site and locate custom boot designers in your area, brush up on boot legends and lore, visit the online boot gallery, and just have a whole bunch of fun.
Shopping with the Preppy Princess--A blog that takes me back to my preppy high school days.
Stampington.com--Magazines, supplies, and project ideas for the crafty or those who like to wish they were.
Artgirlz--More stuff for crafty types.
FastWeb--The place to find scholarships if you have a kid who is planning to go to college.

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab | Reviews

December 18, 2006

Fishy, Fishy

fish We have a fish tank, where about ten fishies live happily and peacefully. Actually, we had a fish tank where they lived happily. They have all gone to fish heaven, and it's just such a shame.

I should explain that we loved and cared for those fish, at least my husband and son did, and we really did the best we could. But a few days ago, when my husband woke up to feed them, he was greeted with an odd site: a long, vertical crack front the top of the tank to the bottom. More than 20 gallons of water had leaked out onto our living room floor (hardwood with a large area rug in the middle). In the bottom of the tank, all the fish were clinging to life, living in the few inches of water that had not yet spilled out.

We tried to save them, really, we did. We transferred them to a temporary home (a large bucket filled with water) while we attempted to clean up the mess. But by afternoon, all but one fish had died. By the next morning, the lone survivor of the fish massacre was dead too.

We have no idea how the tank cracked. It looked like some sort of stress crack, and everything was just fine the night before when they were fed. But, these things happen in life. One moment, you're just swimming along through life, enjoying the view, eating your food, hanging out with your buddies. And the next, it's all taken away. Poor fishies. May they rest in peace.

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September 19, 2006

How Much is Your Life Worth?

Here are the results from my How Much is Your Life Worth? quiz:

Your Life Is Worth...

$554,000

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab

September 16, 2006

Thoughts on Dying

Over dinner yesterday evening, my son and I were talking about dying. I was talking about my mother, who is 78, has Alzheimer's Disease (final stages), a heart condition, and has had three strokes. She is unable to communicate or take care of any of her own needs. She resides in a wonderful nursing home and is in hospice care. We're not sure when she will die, of course, but her doctors suspect it will be sometime in the next six months or so.

So, anyway, my son and I were talking about dying. He's nearly 12, and he understands that Grandma is dying and that although we may be sad when it happens, she's lived a long, good life. We have all been prepared for her to die for a while now. Then we talked about my Dad--a fairly healthy, 80-year-old man who still lives alone and drives and has some, but not any major, medical issues. He's two years older than my mother, yet, if he were to die I'd be pretty shocked and upset, although he has already lived past the average life expectancy for a male in the U.S. I think it comes down to what you expect. Life experience tells us that your grandparents die first, then your parents, then you and your siblings die. But of course, life isn't so predictable sometimes. And when people die out of the order in which we expect, it can throw us for quite the emotional loop.

I was twelve years old the first time someone in my life died. She was the younger sister of my close friend, and she was killed in a car accident when she was ten. We all cried at school, and it felt so strange to have her just not there. It was as if she just disappeared. I didn't think about the accident, I didn't think about her dying. She was just gone one day. I was 22 the next time a friend died. Another accident. I cried and screamed and pounded my fists on the ground and yelled at God. Then I wiped it from my mind a few weeks later, and tried not to think about it. It just hurt too much to remember him, and my mind just wouldn't let me go there for a long time. When I finally thought about it, a few years later, I allowed myself to truly grieve. I wept for weeks.

I always thought I wanted to die when I was old--really old, like 100. Now, it doesn't seem to matter anymore. As I watch my mother deteriorate, life and death take on new meanings. I'm still just trying to decipher what those meanings are to me.

September 13, 2006

Five Wishes

Last night, my daughter's friend asked us this question: "What are five things you would like to do before you die?" And this was my list:

Find a cure for Alzheimer's Disease
Write the great American novel
Visit Paris
End hunger and see unconditional world peace
Find the perfect hairstyle.

A girl can dream big, can't she? (Especially the hair thing--yeah, like that will ever happen...)

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Filed under: General 40ish | Meaningless Gab

August 22, 2006

Adventures in Dreamland

I've been having some really funky dreams lately. In one, my husband and his friend were having a wrestling match at church (my dh wrestled in high school) and his friend broke my husband's leg. He was rushed to the hospital, and I found my son curled up in a ball on the floor of the church youth room crying "Brian broke Daddy's leg." Hmm. Not sure what all that meant.

So anyway, today I had a headache and laid down in the middle of the day for a short nap. When the dream began, my mother and I were shopping at a large mall. My mother was not as she is today--old, frail, suffering from Alzheimer's and dementia, unable to communicate, walk, or eat unassisted. She was as I remember her from ten years ago--taller than I am, vibrant red hair, feisty (okay, bitchy) and smart. We shopped for what seemed like hours, and she told me everything I tried on was too long for me, hideously ugly, and too expensive. It was just like old times.

I was enjoying the dream, then, all of the sudden, it started to change. My mother told me she was beginning to get tired, and that we'd have to stop so she could rest. Shortly after that, she told me she could no longer walk, and that I'd have to get her a wheelchair. I did, and began pushing her around the mall, still chatting with her, trying to get her to go back to the way she was earlier in the dream. But the joking and the sarcasm and the complaining about my clothing choices began to fizzle out, until she was finally not speaking at all. Little by little, she slipped down into her wheelchair, almost disappearing bit by bit before my eyes. An accelerated version of what has occurred over the past three years in real life.

When the dream began, I was happy that my subconscious had found a happy place to visit. A place that allowed me to remember what it was like to be the adult daughter of a healthy woman with a big mouth and even bigger opinions. But it ended much like things are for me today: my life as the adult daughter of a woman who is succumbing to a terrible disease. And while I accept that this is the place where we are now, it was nice to visit the past for a little while. Even if it was in my dreams.

August 04, 2006

My Head Might Explode

Can your brain actually be on overload? I mean, if there's too much on your mind, can your head just explode? Well if that's possible, I think my head is going to go pop at any moment.

Summer vacation is coming to an end, and although I've had two and one-half months to prepare for this, I seem to have been totally caught off guard. My kids have no shoes for school, since they can't wear the flip-flops they've lived in all summer, and both have either outgrown or beaten to death the athletic shoes they have in their closets. Yesterday, I learned that my son has outgrown every pair of jeans he has, and most of his shirts are in pretty bad shape (either too small or too ratty for me to allow him to wear them to school). So next week looks like marathon shopping week for us. Plus, we have to pick up about 500 items from the school supplies list. But who's counting?

My daughter had her wisdom teeth removed the day before yesterday, and she is swollen, in pain, and a general mess right now. As if having a 16-year-old isn't tough enough, this just really stinks for all of us. Not that she's grumpy or anything, but...okay, she's grumpy. Oh man, is she grumpy. She also had to quit her job last week. Long story there, but the sandwich shop where she works was robbed, and her friend had a gun held to his head. Needless to say, the teens that work there were all traumatized, and since some have to work shifts alone from time to time, many of them quit.

In addition, I am looking for some work (freelance or part-time), trying to squeeze in a trip to Florida see my ailing mother, battling some kidney issues, and dealing with the fact that I will be 42 tomorrow. It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would (the birthday, not the kidney stuff). Perhaps that's one pleasant side effect from having a cluttered mind at the moment.

July 11, 2006

Been Dazed and Confused...

This past week has been...um...I guess you could call it weird. My son has been at sleep-away camp, and it's the first time he's been away from us--more than just an overnight or weekend at Grandma's--in 11 years. It's a very strange feeling to wake up in the house and not have him there. I started really missing him yesterday, when I came across a Web site I thought he'd be interested in. I started to call out for him to come down to my office, when I realized that if I did, nothing would happen. While driving my the car, I've turned around a few times to check the back seat, because it's so quiet. Then I realize why. Because he's not in the car with me. How did he become such a big boy overnight? It's exciting and at the same time a little sad. I just don't have little kids anymore. And never will.

So anyway, another weird thing happened, that I won't elaborate on too much. But yesterday, I learned something about someone I thought I knew, and it makes me wonder why some people would choose to lie. So I started wondering about people and their nature. What it is that makes us who we are? Is it upbringing? Is it genetics? Fate? I don't really know. I've always hated lying, but I do understand that life is complicated, and sometimes, we are all forced to lie a bit. I just don't know if I'll ever understand why someone would choose to lie about something they don't have to lie about. I'm talking about big lies--lies about who you are. And why would a person lie to just a few people, when many others know the truth? Aren't they afraid they will be caught? Isn't it easier to tell the truth, even if it disappoints people for a little while? Because being revealed as someone who lies about something so fundamental has got to be worse than that. And isn't it difficult to live a lie? To wake up each morning and think "God, I hope they don't find out today." I don't get it.

July 07, 2006

Deciphering the Code

There comes a times in every woman's life when she has to develop a code that helps her survive--or escape--a less-than-pleasant situation. I'm talking about developing a plan (with a friend) that you will put into action when you find yourself on a really bad date. The plan usually involves the accomplice (who is not on the date but is available to assist you) calling you (or in extreme cases, showing up) while you're on the bad date, usually with an emergency that requires you leave at that very moment because someone, somewhere, needs you.

Of course, a lot can go wrong when an emergency "bad date code" is put into effect. Now I am speaking hypothetically here, because this absolutely did not happen to anyone I know this weekend. No, don't even think it happened to a teenage girl who shall remain nameless, and don't assume that this girl is my daughter. Because I know LOTS of teenage girls. But this involves NONE of them, just in case you were wondering. Maybe you weren't wondering. I'm just saying.

Like I said before, a lot of things can just go WRONG, and make a bad date even worse. So I'd like to offer the following tips to those wishing to create a code to use with their friends or family members in these types of situations:

1. If you send out, shall we call it, a signal of date distress, you should probably, I don't know, maybe...MAKE SURE YOU HAVE CELL PHONE COVERAGE WHEN YOU WANT TO BE SAVED FROM THE STUPIDITY OF YOUR OWN DECISIONS.

2. When you send a signal of distress, please be specific. If you send a text, which is rapidly becoming the preferred method of seeking help on a bad date, make sure you specify whether you're just bored or being jumped by a hideous monster. Or someone--I'm not saying names here, it's still purely hypothetical--might just think you are being jumped and not just annoyed, and your accomplice might FREAK OUT AND WORRY FOR LIKE AN HOUR before being able to reach you.

3. Always have a back-up accomplice. Because sometimes your mom--or your friend, not that it HAS to be your mom--will be in the shower or will put her phone down somewhere and forget that it's on vibrate not on ring and not get the message.

I offer these tips just in case, because, really, this situation has never ever happened to me or anyone I know. I'm just trying to help you, you know, just in case.

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab

July 05, 2006

Independence Day

So yesterday was July 4th, and most people I know had the day off from work, and spent it having fun with family and friends. We did that around here too, although since my dh had a four-day weekend off, we hardly knew what to do with ourselves by Tuesday.

Anyway, when I woke up yesterday, I started thinking about independence, and what it had meant to me at different times in my life. My first taste of this fabulous concept came shortly after my 18th birthday. My parents drove me north five hours from our hometown to the university town where I would live for four years. After they left, I was busy meeting my roommate and other girls on the hall, and doing a lot of unpacking. But later that evening, I got the urge to just walk around campus and take in my new surroundings. I ended up at a pond behind the student union building, watching ducks and eating a giant chocolate chip cookie, tossing a few bits to them now and then. It occurred to me that for the first time in my life, absolutely no one--no family members, no friends--knew where I was and what I was doing. Like most kids and teens, I'd always checked in from time to time to let my parents know where I was. But at that moment, I felt independent for the first time. Ever. It was a sweet feeling.

Four years later, I realized that when someone pays your bills and you live in a dorm and you spend most of your waking hours studying and working internships, you're really not all that independent. You just have a little more freedom and make some of your own decisions. My true, first moment of independence came in 1986 just after I turned 22, a few months after college graduation. My parents were going through a very ugly divorce, and I wanted to get out of their house. So one day, I quit the newspaper reporting job I'd just landed in my hometown, packed up my car (a gift, already paid off) with my clothes and a few other things, and began to drive north. I had a loose plan of ending up in either Georgia or Washington D.C. or Alabama, because those are the places where I had family and close friends. I had no job, but I did have a few thousand dollars I'd managed to save thanks to brief stint at a newspaper and some generous relatives who sent gifts when I graduated. So I just left one day--I had a place to stay for a couple of nights a few hours north of my home, but other than that, my life was one big blank canvas. I remember getting on the interstate that day, and out of nowhere, I let out a big, happy, scream. I thought it might just be the beginning of a happy new adult life for me. And it was.

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Filed under: General 40ish | Meaningless Gab

June 30, 2006

What Color is My Aura?

Your Aura is Violet

Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world.
And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it!

The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say

Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony

Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach

What Color Is Your Aura?

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab

June 14, 2006

80s Music Quiz

Well, there's always surveys for a stuck writer...: )

How Much Do You Know About 80s Music?

You Scored 85% Correct

You are an 80s expert

You never confuse New Order with the Pet Shop Boys

You know which classical musician Falco rocked

When it comes to 80s music, you Just Can't Get Enough!

How Much Do You Know About 80s Music?

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab

June 12, 2006

A Case of Writer's Block

It has only happened to me a few times in my life. Once after a friend died, and just after I gave birth to both of my kids. These are the only times I can remember having really terrible cases of writer's block. And I guess since I am writing this right now, I am not completely blocked like I was on those occasions. Still, I am having trouble expressing myself these days. I just don't know why.

Birth and death are, inarguably, two of the most emotionally draining experiences we humans go through. When I had my kids, I was so tired and out of it that I could hardly put together a verbal sentence, much less a written one. It took me a couple of months to snap out of those blocks. And once when I lost a friend, I had a terrible case of block. But not right after he died--this came when his death really hit me, about a year later. I would sit at the computer or even with a pen and notebook in my hand, unable to think of a single thing to say. It was a painful experience, since I'd written regularly, professional or recreationally, since I was a child.

So I don't know what's happening right now. Well, actually, I have had a lot going on in my life. My mother is dying, I'm planning vacations, my kids are a bit of a handful right now, and I had been sick for a week. But this is pretty much normal, day-to-day stuff for me and for most people. Nothing really traumatic is going on other than my mother's illness, and to be perfectly honest, I'm used to that because she has been deteriorating for three years now. Yet I sit down, each day, trying to think of something to share and my mind just goes blank. The only thing I could think of to write about today is that my mind is blank. Well, I guess that counts as a topic, huh? You get the idea. I'm not totally blocked but just feeling stuck lately, like I have nothing really important or entertaining or of any value to say. So I'm going to try to dig around for inspiration. I'll try to come back with some wit or wisdom soon. Or at least just to say hi ; )

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab

June 02, 2006

About Me Meme

Got this meme from Cinthia:

I AM a mother, a sister, a wife, a daughter, and a friend.

I WANT to spend time with my kids before they are grown up and leaving my home.

I WISH I could have said goodbye to a friend who passed away in an accident.

I MISS that same friend, everyday, for the past 20 years.

I HEAR my daughter typing on the computer.

I HATE liars and hypocrites.

I LOVE chocolate, white wine, my family, and my dogs.

I WONDER about life after death.

I REGRET a few things, but not too many.

I FEAR flying. Well not flying, but dying in a plane crash.

I DANCE really, really, really badly.

I AM NOT ALWAYS as secure and confident as I appear.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS jewelry.

I WRITE all the time.

I SING 80s songs in my car very loudly, when noone's around.

I CRY very little.

I CONFUSE most people.

I NEED to stop worrying so much.

I SHOULD procrastinate less.

I START a lot of projects.

I FINISH just a few of those projects.

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May 31, 2006

Memorial Day Recap

My stomach hurts so much I can hardly sit up. Yep, I've got some kind of funk and I feel like death today. At least it started after the holiday weekend. Monday, the four or us went to play miniature golf and ride in go-carts together. It was funny to take my 11 and 16-year-olds there because all the families had little kids. My daughter said: "Well, at least I won't see anyone I know there. So it shouldn't be too embarrassing." Haha. She's so precious.

Darling daughter and I also hit one of our favorite stores--White House Black Market--on Saturday for a bit of retail-assisted mother-daughter bonding. I treated her to this black lace top and a gray tank top. It was her reward for bringing home a 4.0 this semester, despite an Honors Chemisty class that nearly killed us all. I picked up this white crocheted top to wear over a white tank. My reward for--well I don't know, I'll think of some reason later.

Dear son was happy with cash for his stellar performance this semester, which he will put towards more video games, I am sure. By the way, if you have sons in middle school, have you ever noticed that when they sit in a room for a while playing video games, the room really starts to smell? I mean, really smell. Once my daughter came out of my son's room and said: "Oh my God. It smells like pre-teen boy B.O. in there." That pretty much sums up my life. Dodging teenage girl drama and figuring out how to conquer pre-teen B.O. Let me tell you, my life is fascinating.

May 26, 2006

Fab Five Friday-Things That Tick Me Off

To celebrate my really crappy mood today, I thought I'd list five things that tick me off for this week's edition of Fab Five Friday. So, in no particular order, here they are:

1. Comment, trackback, and e-mail spammers--Stay off my blogs and out of my mailbox you slime!
2. Bad drivers--stay in your lane, use your blinker, and most of all, GET OFF MY ASS!
3. Parents who don't supervise their kids in public places--I used to see a lot of this at my kids' basketball games. When my dh tried to stop one unsupervised preschooler from hurting himself with very heavy AV equipment in a high school gym, the kid yelled at him. (His parents never noticed.) Last year I found a toddler wandering the mall. When I returned him to his mom in a store a few minutes later, she hadn't yet realized he was missing.
4. Liars--Everyone needs to tell white lies sometimes. ("Oh your new haircut is fabulous! That mullet is definitely the look for you!") I am tired of people who lie for no good reason, or just to cover their own butts, regardless of whom they hurt in the process.
5. One uppers--Renovating your house? They're buying a McMansion. Kid win the school spelling bee? Theirs has an IQ of 160. Going to Florida for vacation? They're going to Paris. Sometimes, everyone should just learn to listen and say nothing but: "Wow! I'm so happy for you!"

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Filed under: Friday Fab Five | Meaningless Gab

May 22, 2006

Who Says My Life is Boring?

Today I decided to do a little shopping, and go searching for a great pair of jeans that would hopefull by on sale. I drove to a local shopping center, and I was oh-so-pleased with myself for getting the front parking spot, right across from the door. Pleased, that is, until I saw the scuffle that began just as I was getting out of my car. A woman was trying to leave the store with a handful of clothing, still on the hangers and not in a shopping bag. A store employee grabbed the clothes, and a wild tug-of-war ensued. He was also trying to pull on her purse, which appeared to be stuffed with (unpaid, I presume) merchandise. She was putting up quite a fight, so I stayed next to my car. Just in case.

Then I heard a man yelling and running through the parking lot toward the store. At that point, I jumped back into my car, locked the doors, and slid down a bit. Who knows, this guy could have been armed or something, right? Anyway, he entered the store and joined the scuffle. It reminded me of one of those fights you see in cartoons, where there are just hands and legs flying out of a ball of dust. A few minutes later, both the woman and her male friend managed to get away and head for the parking lot to their car. (Which was right behind me, but I didn't even get a look at it. Dh has scolded me for being a bad witness already, so there's no need to tell me again.) The woman still had merchandise sticking out of her large tote bag (I could see the hangers) when she passed my car, but she must have dumped the stuff before they pulled away, because a store employee retrieved some items from the ground just after they left. I must say, it was quite an interesting morning.

Now, back to my boring, uneventful life.

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab

May 21, 2006

My "View of the World" Results

Your World View

You are a fairly broadminded romantic and reasonably content.
You value kindness and try to live by your ideals.
You have strong need for security, which may be either emotional or material.

You respect truth and are flexible.
You like people, and they can readily make friends with you.
You are not very adventurous, but this does not bother you.

What Is Your World View?

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Filed under: Meaningless Gab

May 12, 2006

Fab Five Friday--Clothing Every Woman Needs

In light of my wardrobe difficulties this week, I decided to put together a list of five articles of clothing women should have in their closets. These items can get you through many a fashion emergency:

1. At least one pair of jeans you look fabulous in--Mine are mid-rise, dark, with a slight flare. I hear this style looks good on most women. Watch TLC's "What Not to Wear" for the best fashion tips.

2. One great dress or pant suit--If you make it a classic, like something from Talbots, it can work for job interviews, weddings, funerals, and other events you will likely have to attend at some point.

3. A fun skirt--For weekend shopping sprees, company picnics, vacation excursions, and other casual events, a cute skirt can't be beat. One fun, flirty skirt can turn you into a brand new woman the minute you put it on. Try a just-above-the-knee a-line, for a look that flatters many body types.

4. A nice pair of heels--Good shoes are always worth the splurge. I have some pairs that I have been wearing for years because they have a wonderful, classic style, and are well-made. Black pumps are a great choice for almost any woman, and you can wear them with jeans, dresses, and suits.

5. A crisp, white, button-up--Wear it with the jeans, suits, and skirts, by itself or with a cardigan, leather jacket, or wool vest. A white button-up never goes out of style. Add bold jewelry, a belt, or other accessories to create a new look every time you wear it. Just make sure to the shirt keep it really white, and replace it when it starts getting dingy.

April 28, 2006

Fab Five Friday-Five Things I Want Now

For today's installment of Fab Five Friday, I bring you five things I lie away at night thinking about. Okay, that's an exaggeration. But I'd really love to own this stuff:

1. Sex and the City, The Complete Series--Owning this set would pretty much make my life complete.
2. Scotty Dog Laptop Sleeve from Shop City Girl--Sold out, but I'm waiting.
3. Transcend's JetFlash120--Ever since I saw my friend wearing a necklace with his flash drive dangling off the end, I've been pining for one of my own to hold all my work documents. These come in cool colors.
4. Linea Paolo 'Lourdes' Pump--I want a pair in every color they offer. The little studs make this pump fun and unique.
5. Anything from Bella Art--This online store would make any avid crafter drool.

April 17, 2006

Weird Things

Well it was a fabulous Easter weekend here! We went to church, hung out at my in-laws, and enjoyed the most beautiful weather we've had in a long time.

So Karen from Does She or Doesn't She tagged me this morning, and I have come up with a list of "Weird Things About Me":

1. I am so claustrophobic that when I visited Ruby Falls in Tennessee, I had to literally RUN out of the place crying.
2. In my rooms that have window blinds, all of them have to be at the exact same height or I feel lopsided.
3. I have a near-obsessive love for office supplies.
4. I am slightly afraid of hot tubs.
5. I love lists. I